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The cravings are still there but manageable and dwindling. Phew! Another notch on my headboard is that I didn’t have a single nut today. It’s SO HARD to do. They’re just there. Like a glass of milk. Ready to consume. No warming up, cutting, chopping, or sauteeing of anything. I’m not a big meat eater and I’m getting super tired of prepping veggies. I don’t like to prep them early, since they lose their nutrients too fast. Whine whine whine. Ahem. I didn’t have any honey or fruit either. It wasn’t too hard to stay away with visions of donuts dancing in my head. I’m not sure if I’m more mad at donuts or my head at this point. I could really use some of my rye sourdough pancakes with butter and maple syrup. My neglected sourdough starters (I currently have five) stare accusingly at me every time I open the fridge. The nut version or even just squash and egg are currently no-no’s. I can’t eat them in front of Katie, and I’m afraid absolutely sure I’ll binge.

 Chicken broth is back in its spot in the fridge. Beef broth will begin tomorrow. I’m pulling out the crock pot for that one as we’ll be out of the house, and I really don’t like leaving the gas on for any length of time. Too toxic. I can’t find the fascinating article I read on it right now. In a nutshell, a man wore a pollution meter for a day. He traveled in rush hour traffic behind some heavily polluting vehicles, sat in an office all day, and then came home. Amazingly, his kitchen was by far the most polluted area he visited. I crack my kitchen window when I cook now. That’s a total ‘better to be safe than sorry’ story for me. We’re in the kitchen way too much to risk it.

I’m again contemplating how to make intro work better for me. Mostly veggie soups and meat only when the craving hits? Soft bits only a couple of times a week? Less fat? I’ll keep knocking that around awhile. Stupid intro. Why can’t I just let it go for a bit? #1 I hate feeling like a failure. I never followed through on things growing up, so now it’s very important to me to do so if i deem it important. #2 I feel like Katie is going to be permanently damaged if I don’t hurry up and get her the full gamut of foods that she’s been missing. Like rightnow. #3 I have so many wonderful examples of people doing intro right now, and I want to do it while the support is there. Instead, I’m falling on my face.

Katie had a tummy ache after a pear today. Coupled with the whining the last two times she had them, they’re off the list for now. Our food choices are dwindling more and more. I was allowing her apples, pears, and blueberries two to three times a day – due to her love of fruit, ease of preparation, and lack of good organic veggies that early spring makes problematic -. Neither of us are good at heavy foods first thing in the morning, so she usually does a bowl (okay, a really big bowl) of frozen blueberries covered in snow (her probiotic) right when she gets up. I start my day with oil pulling for twenty minutes, follow with brushing and flossing, then have my probiotic and wait the prescribed half hour before eating. I’m usually pretty hungry by the time I can eat, so I’m happy to dig into something a little heartier these days.

Katie seems to be doing pretty well. She has been a little spotty today in her nether regions and has a patch of significantly raised red bumps on the fleshy pad of her palm. Reaction? Die off? Petting the cat who has been eating wild caught poached salmon for the last couple of days? Hard life that cat has. I increased by half both of our doses of probiotic the last couple of days – two? three? four? I’m a little fuzzy still – and added a bit of saurkraut juice back in. Die off usually results in pretty red cheeks for both of us, but I didn’t see any. I guess I’ll just let the broth do it’s job and see what happens.

Food today is a bit of a jumble, seemingly, along with this post.

first meal (breakfast): big bowl of blueberries for Katie; scrambled eggs with a diced garlic clove and sauerkraut

second meal (mid morning meal): carrot sticks and guacamole – smashed avocado with salt and sauerkraut juice – for both, though I only had a couple bites and Katie inhaled the entire avocado and three carrots; I had some cold poached salmon a bit later with a squeeze of lemon juice

snack: pear for Katie

third meal (late lunch): boiled chicken; added two jarred artichoke hearts for Katie and glass of milk for me

fourth meal (dinner): boiled chicken in broth with sauteed summer squash (sauteed in its own water; works amazingly well with zucchini also); added raw pastured sour cream and smashed avocado with Cholula [cheat: has xanthan gum] to mine

late evening snack: glass of milk for me

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